Introspection And Reconnecting Back With The Elements
Embarking on a Journey of Self- Awareness and Belongingness
We are constantly seeking love, acceptance and belongingness. Throughout life our self awareness is influenced by others, whether it be our family, friends, coworkers, the environment and groups that we are associated with. There will be a point of time in life when we may experience a lack of belonging, which can influence how we feel connected to others and the outside world. Our impulses challenge us to replace whatever is missing.
So many of us quickly seek to find a new friend or a new friend group, and a new relationship. Depending too much on others to set the foundation for our self-esteem and self-worth. We forget about self-love and introspection, and the relationship that we have with ourselves. When you take on the challenge of fully knowing and accepting yourself, your sense of belongingness is rooted within. As within, so without, and so we are able to attract relationships that have a stronger foundation for our social and belonging needs.
Much of our early development is through our interactions with others which helps in forming our identity. We continue to progress in life by identifying with our friends, classmates and coworkers. This creates and builds a sense of love, connection and belongingness. However, the ebbs and flows of life promise changes, and test our ability to adapt.
We lose friends and experience break ups, but find new friends and relationships to fulfill that void. If that process becomes a reoccurring pattern, we may be only trying to fulfill a void of loneliness, instead of building an inner sense of love, belonging and acceptance. The truth is that we can never really feel alone if we learn to be comfortable with ourselves. Togetherness cannot necessarily assume love and belongingness, and sometimes we feel lonely because we neglected ourselves, not others. The better the relationship that we have with ourselves, can only strengthen the bond that we have with others.
Learning to be Introspective
True belongingness derives from within and most of us will experience a time when we feel disconnected from others because of a need to be introspective and reconnect back with ourselves. This is not necessary a time of loneliness, instead it’s an acknowledgment or realization of our relationships, memberships and connections that are outdated. This is a reminder of a need to make changes or confront something that has never been working or no longer feels secure. Remember that the opportunity to strengthen your relationship with yourself is also an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with others.
Learning more about ourselves enhances our authenticity. It aligns us with our true values and motives, preventing confusion and misunderstanding in our relationships. Our alone time is when we can really explore our true gifts and talents. Overall, practicing introspection can improve our mental health, cognitive functioning, self-compassion, courage and enhance our future planning (The power of introspection).
If in adolescence we only learned to fulfill these needs through others, we may struggle later in life to find inner peace and self-acceptance. This is a deeper sense of belongingness that we feel regardless of where we are in the world. Regardless, if we are amongst friends, family, or in a room to ourselves, we should have established a relationship with ourselves mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Understanding loneliness as a feeling of disconnect from the elements
By nature our sense of belongingness is fulfilled after our physiological needs are met. According to Maslow and the hierarchy of needs, after we have our basic necessities and we feel safe and secure, our next intention is to bond with others. While this may be true, many of us have to return back to our basic physiological needs to reestablish a healthy relationship with ourselves.
Our sense of belongingness has to do with our connection to the elements, earth, air, fire, water and spirit. We think of loneliness as a lack of understanding others, and others understanding us. But imagine if you don’t understand yourself. If your thoughts don’t align with your actions, or your intentions don’t make sense with how you feel. When there’s a loss of connection to the elements, we are neglecting the foundations of our existence. For example, feeling disconnected from the element of air can affect our mentality and mental stability. If we feel disconnected from our own thoughts and ideas, we feel a lack in our sense of self, and we intentionally or unintentionally cut off communication with our own body’s signals through the element of air. This equally effects our relationship with others through unhealthy and insecure relationship dynamics. So regardless if we have plenty of friends, a reputable job and a loving relationship, there can still exist a feeling of loneliness.
Using the 5 elements to rebalance ourselves
Rebalancing the element of water can align our emotional nature back into a state of self-acceptance and self-care. A lack of care for ourselves also interferes with our ability to be loving and compassionate towards others. So, the water element is very important for us to properly nurture ourselves and others. We can reconnect back with the water element from simply drinking more purified water, listening to rain, taking a bath or soaking our feet in water.
Our connection with the element of air provides us with stable thinking and communication. We use technology to better express ourselves, network with the right people, and share our thoughts and opinions. We should enjoy conversations and communicating with others, without dependency. We appreciate our alone time to tune in with our own inner voice. When the element of air is lacking, we lose authenticity and connection with ourselves and others. Some of the easiest ways to reconnect with the element of air is by reading, humming to ourselves and deep breathing exercises and journaling.
The fire element influences our passion, spirit and spontaneity. When our fire element is balanced, we are able to be independent and feel confident expressing ourselves. Our passions are expressed in a healthy and acceptable manner. We are able to see a bright future for ourselves and others. However, many of us are taught to hold back our passions, and it’s easy to feel disconnected or too much connected to this element, which can interfere with its harmonious expression. This can make us feel less motivated in expressing ourselves, being creative and adventurous. There can be a disconnect from our actions and how we go about entertaining ourselves and others. Some of the best ways to reconnect back with this element is through creative expression, art, exercising or engaging in activities that we feel passionate about. We can also connect back with the fire element by relaxing and lighting candles and dancing.
The earth element provides us with stability and an instinctual connection to nature. It also keeps us practical, sensible and supportive throughout life. When our earthly element is out of wack, we feel messy, a lack of stability and unreliable. It can be difficult to hold on to things or let something go. So our relationship with the earth element can have the most impact on material needs. Surrounding yourself in nature and engaging in outdoor activities can strengthen your bond with the earth. You can create an earthly space within your home by having plants and pets and caring for them.
Spirit is the element of connection and belonging beyond the senses. We can think of it as the higher vibration of all the elements. When out spirit is our of wack, we are no longer encouraging of ourselves and others. We can become overly practical, stubborn and lack imagination. When this element is strong, we always feel a connection to something else out there. We are able to build a healthy relationship with a higher power, that can help in guiding us in the right direction. The best ways to connect back with the element of spirit is through meditation, creative activities, yoga and lighting palo santo, incense or sage.
References
https://www.anjiecho.com/holistic-spaces-blog/2019/2/healing-properties-four-elements
